Linda Ellis

A Round Tuit

When I was a child, my father had a special way of making his point.  Now, years after his death, I am learning every day that those unique ways he had to ensure his lessons were imprinted in my mind, actuallly worked. 

One of the most vivid examples of my father's unique style of parenting was his response to my lack of enthusiasm when he had requested that I take care of something.  I distinctly remember having a habit of answering my dad's requests to do chores with, "When I get around to it..."  This answer was not the response my father preferred from any of his children, but unfortunately the one that he'd receive most often, at least from me.  He was a tad more strict with my three brothers than he was with me.  (My brothers would argue the use of the phrase "a tad more..." claiming that I was spoiled as the only girl.  Hmmmmf!)

Anyway, one particular afternoon my father had politely requested that I complete some mundane chore that apparently I didn't find particularly interesting.  I answered him curtly with my standard, "I'll do it, dad.  When I get around to it!"  I couldn't help but notice the unmistakable Cheshire Cat grin on his face as he reached into his pocket and handed me a little cardboard circle, about 2" in diameter.  Both sides were printed with nothing but the word, "TUIT." Yes, he had, in essence, found a way of making sure that I'd gotten a round tuit.  At the time, I remember trying to appear as unimpressed as possible due to the fact that the result of this little stunt was my having to do whatever task had been requested of me that day.

Now, many years later, I find myself applying this a round tuit philosophy to the daily struggle of prioritizing the endless list of "to-do's" that I've created and tend to revise hourly.  As I push those, what could be deemed as, "less important" tasks to the bottom of the list, such as:  "call Aunt Margaret" or "make lunch plans with Susan," I can almost hear myself saying "I'll do it when I get around to it." 

Well, not anymore.  Today I placed a round tuit on the top of my to-do list.  Those items listed under it will now become #1 priority and the others will just have to wait their turn.  Life is too short and no one is guaranteed a tomorrow.  Putting off doing the meaningful things because life gets in the way, is no excuse anymore. 

Dad, it looks like I finally got it.  I just wish I'd gotten a round tuit sooner!  Thanks! 

Ordinary Days

Last night I had a conversation with a friend of mine whose mom has been battling cancer.  She said her mom told her that when my friend was little, they had a set of special dishes, fine china I suppose, that was only used on very, very special occasions.  Her mom said since she has been facing this challenge, those dishes are set on the table on a regular basis and she regrets not using them on even the most ordinary days in the past. 

I began thinking about the phrase, "ordinary day."  So many of us count down the days until our next big event, that we discount those days in between and tend to label them as "ordinary." Often we'll count them down as though they have no value.  "Only 14 days left until..."  If there is nothing special scheduled...no vacation, no holiday, not even a package in the mail, then the day is considered ordinary and we endure it as if it were some sort of task instead of living it to the fullest.  I've begun a new way of thinking in my life and that is that no day should be considered ordinary.  Every morning when the sun rises and you wake up, should be considered special.  In a poem I titled, "Every Single Day," I wrote:  If the span of every lifetime were cut into pieces with a knife, then every single day would be...a single slice of life.

If you view every day as if it were a single slice of life, and not just 24 hours to pass to bring you closer to some special happening or event in your life, then you can learn to appreciate and experience all the life contained within each and every day with which you are blessed.

The definition of the word ordinary is a commonplace condition or situation.  Is there anything common about a sunrise?  Is there anything common about the colors of the leaves changing in the fall?  Is there anything common about the way in which a flock of birds can fly in such a synchronized formation?  Is there anything common about the way a sunburst's perfect pattern appears through the clouds as if designed by some computer program?  All of these magical events, and so many more, happen on ordinary days.  If we learn to realize the uniqueness and beauty found in each day, then we can realize that no day is ever ordinary.

The Dash

Well I'm finally blogging!  Many people have been after me for years to begin a blog!  Frankly, I didn't see the wondrous attributes of becoming a blogger, but I hate to be left out of an ever-increasing fad (or what could be referred to as an addiction for some).  So, although I may be a few years late, here I am, blog, blog, blogging!! 

Where do I begin?  Well,...The Dash of course!  You see, eleven years ago, I wrote a poem...a relatively simple rhythmic lesson on life.  Since that time, The Dash, as it was appropriately titled, has become a daily reminder for many, a life-altering experience for some and a way of life for others.  The Dash poem has changed my life in more ways than I can mention, though I'm sure many will be revealed as I continue to "blog."  Fun word, isn't it?  Blog, blog, blog.  Anyway, I should probably mention that I have the writer's equivalent of ADD.  I have many scattered, random thoughts.  For years, I've tried to fight these haphazard (and often irrelevent) ideas that enter my brain as my fingers are trying to type my thoughts from three minutes ago, but recently I've given up fighting.  I am now just rolling with the flow, whether the end result is 100% coherent to the reader or not.  However, I will try to do my best to remain as focused as possible.  Hey, is that a squirrel!!???

As I mentioned, I am the author of The Dash poem.  I have however, considered changing my name to Ann Onemous or Arthur Unknown as those seem to be the two names most attributed for writing my poem.  I guess it has been easier for folks to slap one of those names underneath my work rather than asking for permission to use this COPYRIGHTED piece.  Yes, I may sound a tad bitter, but it is hard for one poet to fight the Internet.  It is the law that if you do not defend your work, it is in danger of becoming public domain!  Silly law to me because if you've written something and can prove authorship with a filed registration of copyright, then you should not be forced to continually battle for what is rightfully yours.  But again, I digress.

As the author of The Dash poem, people often have high expectations of me.  A couple of years ago, I began doing some public speaking around the country.  It became quickly apparent that many were seeking spiritual or emotional guidance from me!  I've always done my best to listen carefully to everyone's "dash" story.  I cry with some, embrace others.  I care, I really do, sometimes to my own detriment.  And, oh how I love listening and sharing stories with everyone as we travel to different cities!  I now travel with a friend/assistant who handles book sales so that I may have time to visit with all of those folks who wish to share their dash stories or those of their loved ones. 

However, I must say that I am who I am.  I am not a counselor.  I am not an advisor.  I am a poet who had a particular insight into life which somehow created a worldwide, for lack of a better word, "awareness."  I am very proud of that accomplishment and have received thousands of calls and emails about what my poem has meant to people.  I receive emails and calls every single day.  It has been almost inconceivable to me.  But, as I mentioned, I am who I am.  I let a curse word slip every now and then. ;-) I have a beer or two with friends at times and I don't go to church nearly as often as I should.  But the fact is, I ALWAYS try to treat others with kindness and respect.  That is one of the messages that I tried to convey in The Dash poem.  Living a dash that you can be proud of doesn't mean trying to be perfect and changing yourself to fit the mold of what people tend to think of as a "good" person.  To me, it means doing the best you can every day to live a life which may someday allow you to leave behind a legacy of kindness, love and laughter.  I try to think every day of what people will remember of me, should I not see tomorrow.  Someone once said, if you want to know how to live your life, think about what you want people to say about you when you're gone, and live backwards.  That is a great strategy. 

Another thought I tried to convey in The Dash poem is respecting others.  I once received an angry call from someone who told me they loved my poem, but that I had left God out of it.  I told him that I hadn't left God out of the poem.  If he didn't feel God within the words, then it was he who had left Him out, not me.  I wrote The Dash poem for devout Christians, as well as athiests.  For Catholics, Jews, Baptists and Muslims!  My goal was to reach anyone and everyone who might read this poem, and hope that he or she be inspired enough to live a better life and/or treat their fellow human beings with love and kindness.

I am posting The Dash poem below.  For those of you who haven't read it, and also for those of you who have, I would love to hear your thoughts.  Please remember that this poem is copyrighted with the Library of Congress and cannot be reproduced without the expressed permission from the author and copyright owner...uhm, I mean ME!!!

The Dash
copyright 1996 Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning...to the end. He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years. For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth... and now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth. For it matters not, how much we own; the cars....the house...the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash. So think about this long and hard... are there things you'd like to change? For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged. If we could just slow down enough to consider what's true and real, and always try to understand the way other people feel. And be less quick to anger, and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we've never loved before. If we treat each other with respect, and more often wear a smile... remembering that this special dash might only last a little while. So, when your eulogy is being read with your life's actions to rehash... would you be proud of the things they say about how you spend your dash? The poem is available in a gift book, framed print and journal from: www.lindaellis.net.